Lost, Forbidden, and Love
by lostwithoutyoux3
Summary: Spashley with many very unexpected twists. Just read it and find out
1. Stolen

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Property of the N and Dashboard Confessional.**

**This is my first post so comments and reviews are appreciated :o)**

Before that fateful day I guess you could say I didn't exactly know her very well. I was a junior and she was a senior at King HIgh. She was best friends with my best friend Aiden, so technically we were fairly good friends. I always saw her and admired her but not in that sort of way. We talked sometimes but only when Aiden was around because we didnt really have a reason to talk when he wasnt around. When we saw each other we threw small smiles, waves, or "hellos" to each other. Thats just the basic info.

_I saw Aiden lying on the tables with his eyes closed, headphones in his ears, and head bopping up and down. The music was so loud I could clearly hear Souljah Boy's 'Kiss Me Thru The Phone' playing. _

_"Aiden! Guess what!" I yelled as I yanked the headphones out of his ears._

_"What the heck! What was that for? and do I wanna know what?" _

_"Of course Doofus...I got 3 floor tickets for the Dashboard Confessional concert tonight!!!!"_

_"Wait why 3?"_

_"Well I don't know actually. I was thinking of inviting someone else but I don't know who."_

_"If you're not gonna use the ticket can I invite someone cause I know they are a big fan of Dashboard Confessional."_

_"Sure...as long as it's not Madison. You know how much she hates me after that incident last year."_

_"How could I forget. haha."_

_"Shut up Aiden! I know some embarassing things about you too!"_

_"Touche. So I guess I can pick you up at around 8 tonight?"_

_"Yeah sure. Who are you going to invite by the way?"_

_"I'm not telling. It's gonna be a surprise."_

_"You suck Aiden. You know that right."_

_"Yup. I gotta get to class. Mr. D said if I'm late again he's giving me detention."_

_While Aiden was rushing to class I couldn't help but wonder who he was inviting tonight. I hope it was one of his hot basketball friends. Like Jesse or Matt. They are to die for. But its probably going to be 'her'. Guaranteed. Aidens been friends with her way longer then me and they always hang out. I wonder if they ever went out. It seems like they would have. But she would never go for a meathead like Aiden. All he cares about is working out and basketball. _

_The final bell rang and I quickly went to my porsche cayman and sped home. I wanted to look extra nice just in case Aiden brings a guy friend. I took a shower, put on a little make up, and my clothes. I was looking in the mirror and doing finishing touches before the doorbell rang. I took a final glance at the mirror and satisfied with the way I looked, I sped down the stairs and opened the door to find Aiden staring at me._

_"Mom I'm going!"_

_"OK. Don't come home to late."_

_His eyes were still eyeing my body before I had to punch him in the arm to take him out of his daze. _

_"Wow...you look hot."_

_"When do I not? Can we please go now"_

_"Huh? Oh yeah...let's go."_

_"Where's you're friend?"_

_"She's meeting us there."_

_I knew he was inviting 'her.' Don't get me wrong, I like hanging out with her. It's just....I don't know. There's something about her that makes me act different then when it's just me and Aiden. When we finally arrived at the concert there she was leaning over the railing staring at the little pond below. She looked absolutely breathtaking. The way her hair fell on shoulders and framed her face. Her halter top fitted her perfectly showing off every curve. I've never really noticed this until now...but she is gorgeous. _

_Why was I even thinking of her this way? I can't be thinking of a girl this way. I can't be thinking she is gorgeous, breathtaking, and probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She has a winsome smile that makes me wanna run up to her and kiss those soft, glossy lips. Wait, no no no no no no no no no. I'm straight and so is she. I've seen her with her boyfriends and I'm sure see has seen me with my ex-boyfriends. I have to stop thinking this. _

_"Hey there." she says with her angelic voice._

_She leaned into me for a hug and I was shocked when she did this. It was so unexpecting and took me a couple seconds to register the closeness between us. _

_"Thanks for inviting me. I love Dashboard Confessional."_

_"Uhh...yeah no problem. Anytime."_

_She continued to look straight into my eyes as I did to her too. We were so caught up in a daze we didn't realize Aiden was still standing there._

_He stood right next to me and waved his hand in front of my face. "Hellooooooo. Anybody home?"_

_We immediately jumped apart from each other but continued to look at each other. _

_"Yeah sorry. We kinda spaced out for a second," she said_

_"No kidding. First I see you walking towards us and next thing I know my two best friends are hugging and staring at each other."_

_I noticed she started to blush a little. A small smile spread across her face and it was just adorable._

_"We better get inside. It starts in 15 min," I said. _

_We walked inside and found our seats just a few minutes later. We had awesome seats thanks to me of course. The stage was just a few rows in front of us and luckily there was no one sitting in front of us. She, Aiden, and I continued to have small talk that wasn't exactly important to me right now. All I could think about were 3 things. One, thank god I decided to spend extra time getting ready. Two, why am I so excited for her to be here right now? And three, Why am I having these thoughts about her?_

_The concert soon started and I felt her being pushed closer to me. I looked her way and saw that the stranger who sat next to her had arrived. Usually I would just move away because I don't like it when people push up next to me; but this was different. I liked the warmth that ran through my body when I felt her arm against mines. It was...comforting. It was halfway through the concert when the band decided to play, what I thought was the best song ever, 'Stolen.' _

_"We watch the season_

_Pull up its own stakes_

_And catch the last weekend_

_Of the last week_

_Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced_

_Another sun soaked season fades away"_

_I turned to her and screamed "I love this song!!" loud enough so she could hear me._

_"Me too! This is my all-time favorite" she replied._

_I continued to stare at her for the second time in one night, but this time she wasn't staring back at me. The chorus of the song then came up._

_"You have stolen my heart_

_You have stolen my heart"_

_And at this moment, I couldn't agree more._


	2. Nervous?

**Comments are very much appreciated. Tell me what you think cause I have a few ideas on where this is going but I dont know yet. And sorry I didn't mention who is who and who is speaking. It's part of the story and will make sense later. And I think I forgot to mention it before, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

In one day, my life changed forever. Now every time I saw her, I fixed my hair, made sure I looked my best, and tried to bring up a I know. Fortunately I was successful with the conversation thing because we started to talk everyday after the concert. I know right now I'm making myself sound like a little kid with a huge crush and would do anything for them, but it was true. Every time we talked I started to ramble and blush uncontrollably. I think she noticed this happened every time I talked to her because she eventually said, "don't have to be so nervous around me. I'm just as nervous as you, you know."

_I was walking to class when I heard her behind me, "hey wait up!" I turned around and could already feel my face turning bright pink as she came walking towards me. _

_"So you either have really bad sunburn or blushing like crazy." she said with a laugh as we stared right into each other's eyes. _

_"Anyways...what class do you have next?" I said to change the subject._

_"Oh uhmmm Bio. Walk with me?" I grinned when she asked me this and I saw a small smile grow. _

_"Why not. I've got nothing better to do."_

_There was a comfortable silence as I walked with her to her class. We walked unusually close, but I didn't have a problem with that. I could tell there were many things going through her head so I didn't bother to disturb her thoughts...for now._

_I wanted to talk to her so bad I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "So who are you going to the dance with?"_

_There was no answer for a couple of seconds but she finally said, "Oh sorry. I zoned out. And uhm Aiden. You?"_

_I could tell she wasn't to excited to be going to the dance with Aiden. She is best friends with him, but it seemed like she wanted to go with someone other then him. "I'm going with Ryan."_

_"Oh my gosh are you serious! He is such a hottie! I didn't even know you knew him. " she squealed as she grabbed my shoulders and twisted me around so I was facing her. _

_"He's OK I guess. Not my type, but he asked and I couldn't tell him no. And he actually just randomly came up to me and asked me to go with him and I said yes. So we just started talking after that." I replied with a tone that showed I didn't really care. _

_"Oh well don''t worry. If you get bored you can come dance with me." she said with a cheeky smile. _

_"That's the best offer I had all day," I replied._

_We finally arrived at her Bio class and as she was about to walk in, she turned to me and said, "Don't have to be so nervous around me. I'm just as nervous as you, you know."_

_With that she turned around and walked into her class and left me standing by the door with my face as red as it can be._


	3. All I Ever Wanted

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song**

**Comments are very much appreciated. I want reviews so I know how to make the story better. And just a reminder, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

"The day of the dance was one of the best days of my life. I remember as if it was just yesterday even though it has been almost a year and a half already. I believe I spent at least 3 hours getting ready for the dance, but not for my date; but for her."

_It was the day of the dance and I was surprisingly very excited to go. If it wasn't for 'her,' I probably wouldn't be this excited for a dance. It was around 6 when I heard my doorbell ring. Ryan said he was gonna pick me up at around 7ish so I walked up to the door curious about who it was._

_When I opened the door I saw Aiden pacing back and fourth with his hand going through his hair outside of my door._

_"Aiden! What the hell are you doing here?" I yelled to get his attention since he was still pacing back and fourth._

_"Thank gosh you're still here! You need to help me. I don't know what to do." he replied in a panicked voice._

_"Do about what?"_

_"The dance! I can't go anymore! I got a call from my mom saying my brother in college got into an accident so I have to go to the hospital right now!"_

_"Oh my gosh Aiden why did you come here? You should be at the hospital with your family! And is he ok? Do you want me to come with you?" I replied _

_"I don't know how he is right now and no don't come with me. The reason I came here is because I need you to hang out with my date tonight cause she was really excited to go and everything and I don't want her to miss out on the dance because I can't go. She said she's willing to skip the dance and come with me, but I don't want her to since this is her last high school dance. And I know she probably spent a lot of time getting ready and will look beautiful, so I don't want her to put it to waste. And I tried calling you but you didn't answer your phone so here I am. So will you please, please hang out with her. I know you guys have been hanging out or talking a lot recently so it should be ok right?" He said quickly while still pacing back and fourth. _

_"Yeah of course Aiden. Anything. Tell her Ryan and I will meet her there at 7:30."_

_"Thank you so much!" he said and pulled me into a strong hug. "Make sure she has fun and nothing bad happens to her."_

_"I'll take care of her. Don't worry. Now go to your family. They need you right now." I said as I pulled away from his muscular body._

_"Thanks again!" And with that Aiden was back in his car heading to the hospital. _

_I really hope Aiden's brother is OK. But wow she's going to be hanging out with ME at the dance. I really hope I don't do anything to embarass myself. Oh gosh! What am I thinking? Why am I getting so worked up over this girl. I'm straight! She's straight! We're both straight...I think._

_Ryan and I had just arrived at the dance when I told him about Aiden and his date. He was actually excited to have me and her hanging out with him because he thought he would get lucky; which by the way he won't. I'm standing by the dinner tables with my eyes wandering all around the room looking for her with Ryan and his friend. _

_"What are you doing?" Ryan's friend Chad asked._

_"I'm looking for someo-- Oh there she is!" I said as I spotted her entering the dance. I quickly left the guys and started walking in her direction. She looked so beautiful in the knee high champagne colored dress. He hair was half up half down she just looked so...so beautiful. _

_"Hey you" I said to her from behind._

_She turned around quickly and I saw a smile grow across her face. "Hey me." she said with a small laugh. "Thanks for hanging out with me. I told Aiden I'd go with him to the hospital but he insisted I go to the dance tonight."_

_"Yeah I know he told me...so he gave me specific instructions to make sure you have fun and stay safe. So, lets go have some fun and dance!"_

_"I'd love to, but what about Ryan?" she said with a worried voice._

_"Don't worry about him. He's with his friends and I really don't wanna be with him right now."_

_"Aw don't worry I'm here. Let's go dance now." she said with a smile and grabbed my hand and swayed it back and fourth._

_~x~o~x~o~x~o_

_We were on the dance floor dancing at a comfortable distance when my favorite song 'All I ever wanted by Basshunter' came on. _

_' All I ever wanted was to see you smiling_

_all I ever wanted was to make you mine. _

_I know that I love you oh baby why can't _

_you see that all I ever wanted was you and me.'_

_I suddenly felt her hand grab my hips and pull me closer to her. She let her hand rest on my waist as I draped my arms on her shoulders. We moved our hips together to the beat and stared into each others eyes. We ignored everything around us as we got pushed closer from the people dancing around us. We moved our heads closer together and once our foreheads touched our lips came closer to each other's._

_"Theres my girls!" ryan yelled as he wrapped his arms around the two of us clearly drunk as hell._

_We quickly jumped away from each other and stood there awkwardly._

_"So are we gonna start having some fun now or what?"_

_"Actually can you take me home? I'm getting tired" she looked at me and asked._

_"Yeah of course. And Ryan I'm going home after so bye." I said and started to leave before he could answer._

_"Awww come on girls!" he begged. But we left without looking back. _

_~x~o~x~o~x~o_

_Once we arrived in front of her house we sat in my car in silence._

_"So I better get going," she said which broke the silence and began to open the car door._

_"Wait, let me walk you to your door."_

_I quickly got out of the car and ran up next to her in front of the car. We got to her front door and stood there in silence again. _

_"Thanks for tonight. I had fun," she said as she jingled her keys in her hand. _

_I knew exactly what she was doing. A girl usually pulls this stunt when she wants her date to lean in for a kiss. But is this what she wanted? I was hesitant and looked from her hands, to her lips, and then to her eyes. I was still thinking about what to do until she leaned forward and pressed her soft lips against mines. I felt a sudden shiver go up my body and stood there doing nothing as her lips still touched mines. She pulled away before I could react and kiss her back._

_"A perfect end to an almost perfect night," she whispered in my ear._

_"almost?" I replied confused._

_" yeah....almost. Good night and thanks again."_

_"Good night and anytime" I replied still confused about the almost thing she was talking about._

_She went into her house and stood at the door frame as I got back in the car and drove off. _

_I wonder what she meant by the almost thing. But boy, I sure do want to have a perfect night with her._


	4. Lost

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything **

**Comments are very much appreciated. I want reviews so I know how to make the story better. And just a reminder, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

"I was still confused about what me and her were. I didn't know how I was supposed to act around her at school. I didnt know I could grow feelings for her, but I did. I was so nervous that I might see her and make a fool of myself, but I wanted to see her so bad at the same time. I was so confused on how all of this happened to me so quickly, I was lost in infatuation."

_Today is going to be the first day I see her after the dance and kiss happened. I sat in my car at the school parking lot staring at the school. "Ok breathe and relax. If you see her, just act normal and don't ignore her," I said out loud to myself. I took a deep breath and walked out of my car. _

_Its half way though the day and I still didn't see her. I was walking down the hall when I heard Aiden._

_"Hola chica,"_

_"Aiden please don't do that. you're starting to sound like Madison."_

_"Well I have been hanging out with her. I think I'm gonna ask her out."_

_"You do whatever you want. Just don't expect me to be friends with her. And you know why we can't be friends. And how's your brother doing?"_

_"So what if you guys just pulled super embarassing/mean jokes on each other. But I have to say you totally got her with the chili and picture. haha. And shit man! I got to the hospital and my mom overreacted over the phone. Turns out it was just him being stupid and thinking he could ride a wagon down a steep hill and him falling out breaking his leg. He's so fucking stupid."_

_"Wow Aiden. I'd hate it if I had to miss the dance just to see my brother in a cast."_

_"Oh yeah how was the dance? Did my date have fun?"_

_"It was really fun. And yea I ditched my date for your date Aiden. Ryan was being a douche and I think he only asked me cause he wanted to sleep with me. When I told him about what happened with you and your date hanging out with us, all he could talk about was us having 'fun' that night."_

_"Sorry bout that. At least you had someone to hang out with after you ditched your date."_

_"Yeah. have you seen her yet by the way?" I asked nervous that he might wonder why I was asking about her._

_"I did actually. She actually asked if I saw you yet too. What happened that night?" he said with a curious tone._

_I grinned and said, "Well we just became really close and decided to make plans for the week."_

_"Finally!" He exclaimed._

_"What are you talking about?" _

_"No, nothing." He said with a cheeky smile. "Well I gotta get going to class. I'll see you later."_

_"Bye," I said and walked off to my chem class._

_My class just started and I was already getting bored of my teacher lecturing us about chemical bonds. My eyelids started to get heavy until I felt a something buzz in my pocket. _

_Hey there :o) A smile grew across my face. It was from her._

_texting in class. Tisk Tisk. I replied_

_Well if im correct, you are too_

_Damn youre right. You've corrupted me_

_You're welcome. Anyways what are you doing after school? Wanna hang out? I blushed as I read this message. _

_I'd love to. Meet me at my car when you're done I replied quickly._

_OK! See you soon! :o) _

_~x~o~x~o~x~o_

_We decided to go to my house and hang out. We were in the kitchen baking rice krispie treats and throwing little pieces at each other and eating sprinkles from the bottle. Everything was s perfect. There was nothing awkward between the two of us and we were being our normal selves. We ended up having a mini food fight in my kitchen and I haven't had this much fun in a long time. _

_"So you know we are going to have to clean this up," I said as I looked around the kitchen to see pieces of rice krispies on the cabinets, fridge, and on ourselves._

_"Well it's not my fault YOU spilled the marshmallows and cereal all over ME." she said while laughing at the same time._

_"Well it's not my fault I couldn't resist not throwing something at you." I said. "You're just such a perfect....perfect, ugh whats that word?"_

_"Hahaha I know what you're trying to say. And you are perfect too." she said "And the words target."_

_She leaned in closer and put her hand on my forearm._

_"You have some rice krispies on your cheek," she said with a seductive smile. _

_She brushed my cheek with her thumb and flicked the sticky clump of food to the floor. _

_"Do I have it anywhere else?" I asked in an innocent voice._

_She looked at me straight in the eyes and then down to my lips. Once again I felt her soft lips on mine. This time it didn't take me long to react to what was happening so before I knew it, I felt myself kissing her back. We pulled closer to each other and she cupped her hands around my face. _

_"I really really like you," she said as she broke the kiss. _

_"And I really really like you too," I said._

_"I've never done his before, but will you be my girlfriend?"_

_I looked at her with a dreamy look and pressed my lips against hers once more. "Does that answer your question?" I asked._

_She smiled as our foreheads still touched. "A perfect end to a perfect night," was all she said before our lips collided once more._


	5. Truths

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything **

**Comments are very much appreciated. I want reviews so I know how to make the story better. And just a reminder, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

"It was official, we were officially together. I was the happiest person in the world but also confused on whether I should tell someone about my current relationship status. I wasn't and still not sure about what people would think of me if they found out me, a girl, had a girlfriend. But, I knew I had to tell someone, so I decided to tell Aiden."

_"So where were you last night? I went to your house cause I needed you to help me with my homework." Aiden said as we walked to english_

_"Oh sorry, I was hanging out with someone," I replied, not sure if I should tell him about my new girlfriend._

_Aiden looked at me with a peculiar face. "And who might this somebody be?"_

_I held my book in front of my chest and looked down at the ground with a small grin on my face. Aiden noticed this right away and said, "Does this somebody happen to be a very good friend of mine......thats a girl?" _

_I looked up at him confused on how he figured it out so quickly. He just stared back at me waiting for me to reply._

_"H-how did you know?" I asked confused. _

_"Let's just say I know a lot more things about you two then you think," he said as he walked to his seat._

_The bell rang which meant class was about to start. I was so confused about what Aiden was talking about I didn't even pay attention to anything the teacher was saying and was stuck in a daze until I got a text._

_hey girlfriend. I miss you already I smiled and replied back right away_

_I miss you too. we have lunch together so lets go somewhere a little private :)_

_oooo I like the sound of that. I'll meet you in front of your class_

_mmk babe. see you soon_

_I was so jumpy the rest of the class 'cause I couldn't wait till lunch time. 'hmmm....I wonder if we're taking the relationship to fast. I mean we had some very intimate make out sessions already and we've been together for less then 24 hours.' I thought to myself. But I didn't mind because I honestly believed I could fall in love with this girl forever. _

_Class had finally finished and I tried to get out of the room as quick as I could, but was slowed down from all the other kids trying to get out of the same room. I guess those are the disadvantages of sitting in the back of the room. I finally got outside when I saw my new girlfriend and Aiden having a what looked like a serious talk. _

_"Hey guys," I said. They immediately turned to me and tried to act like they were doing nothing._

_"Hey," she said as she moved a little closer to me. _

_"What were you guys talking about?" I asked_

_"Nothing. So....let's go to lunch," she said as she pulled me away and started walking away from Aiden. _

_Aiden just stood there a little while longer and walked in the opposite direction. _

_"What was that about?" I asked_

_"Oh it's nothing."_

_"Oh...uhmm ok." I said still wanting to know what they were talking about._

_" So where do you wanna go?" she asked in a seductive voice. _

_"Surprise me," was all I said. _

_The next thing I knew, I was being pulled into the storage closet and seated on a plastic crate. She was standing between my legs and pushing my hair behind my ears. _

_" Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" She asked as she bit her bottom lip._

_"Not as beautiful as you," I said as I pulled her closer and locked lips with her. _

_Our kiss grew passionate very quickly. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I allowed her in and we were fighting for dominance. Her arms were loosely wrapped around my neck as I rested my hands on her hip. Her lips were so soft and the kiss was so gentle, yet full of passion. _

_We pulled apart breathing quickly and stared into each others eyes. _

_"So what were you and Aiden talking about?" I asked._

_"It's complicated." she replied._

_" You know you can tell me anything. And I'm always going to be there for you," I said._

_"Well....he knows." she said as her eyes moved away from mine. _

_"He knows? About us?" I asked confused. "But we just got together yesterday."_

_"He knew way before that." She replied_

_"Do explain," I replied. _

_"It's a long story, and you're probably gonna think I'm stupid for getting mad at Aiden. Even after everything he has done." She said in a soft voice. _

_"It's ok, I could never think you're stupid. And what do you mean everything he has done?" I asked._

_"Well, I've liked you for a very long time, and every time I saw you before the concert I wanted to talk to you so bad, but I couldn't cause I didnt want to embarass myself. I told Aiden I was gay and had a huge crush on you just a couple months ago. He was very accepting and agreed to help me become friends with you. He wasn't sure if you even liked me because when we saw each other we just said 'hi' and thats it. He thought the concert would be the perfect opportunity for me to become closer to you, so he invited me."_

_She paused for a little while and took a deep breath in and grabbed my hands. _

_"After we dropped you off at home, he told me he thinks that you might like me. He said he saw 'the look' in your eyes when you first saw me at the concert."_

_"Wait, the look? Whats the look?" I asked_

_"Thats what I asked him, and he said your eyes got all dreamy and your smile just grew immediately."_

_"Oh, that look. He was right by the way beautiful," I said as I leaned in and gave her a small peck on the lips. _

_She smiled and said, "Aww, well after he told me you had 'the look', I was so nervous on whether I should make a move or not. That same night, we came up with the plan."_

_"You guys had a plan?" I asked confused....again._

_"Yeah, Aiden came up with it" she said with a small laugh. "The plan was for me to go to the dance with Aiden, but have him come to your house and say something happened just before a couple hours before the dance, so he couldn't go with me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this since Ryan asked you and I didn't want to ruin your night, but then he told me he over heard Ryan say he just asked you cause he wanted to fuck you at the after party. So after Aiden convinced me that everything would work out, I agreed to go along with it."_

_I was speechless. "Aiden came up with that plan?" I asked._

_She nodded and looked down._

_"That was the smartest thing he has ever thought of this year," I replied with a smile. _

_She looked up and said, "Really?"_

_"Yeah, if you didn't come to the dance with me I would have been bored as hell. Ryan ignored me the entire time it was just me and him, and only came to talk to me that one time before we left."_

_"Well good thing I was there for you then," she said as she placed her hand on my cheek. _

_"So did Aiden's brother really get into an accident? and what did he do the night of the dance?" I asked._

_"He did get into an accident, but that was a month ago and the only excuse he could think of. And Aiden spent the night with Madison. They both didn't want to go to the dance."_

_"So everything worked out then. It was worth it." I said. "So why are you mad at him?"_

_"He wants me to come out to my parents. I told him I don't know how my parents are going to act, but he said something like, 'but they're your parents. they'll always love you.' And yeah."_

_"Oh. Well I don't think I could tell my parents either. They would probably flip out." I said as I just realized I don't know what I should do. _

_"Well we don't have to tell anyone for now, but we will have to tell someone before we die," she said jokingly. _

_"haha, of course babe." I said._

_x~o~x~o~x~o_

_So I guess I don't have to worry about telling Aiden about my new relationship, but I don't think I'll ever be able to tell my parents I'm gay. It's just to much for them to handle. But I'm still shocked about Aiden's little plan. That's the sweetest thing he has ever done! _

"_Hey Aiden!"_

"_Hey wha—" I pulled him into a hug and I can tell he wasn't shocked cause he was tense._

"_Thanks for everything." I said as I pulled away from him._

"_So she told you didn't she." He said _

"_Yeah, she did. But don't expect me to come out anytime soon," I said with a laugh. _

"_Take as long as you want, and know I'll be there to protect you girls if anything happens," he said as he put his arm around me._

"_Thanks Aiden, You're such a good friend."_


	6. Forbidden

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything **

**Comments are very much appreciated. I want reviews so I know how to make the story better and the more reviews, the faster I will post another one. I'm coming towards the end already. And just a reminder, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

**Oh and you will find out who is who pretty soon! :o)**

"It was very hard for us to not show how much we loved being with each other in public. We always had to sneak around and not show how much we were in love. It was so unfair because I always saw couples groping and almost having sex with each other in public. This disturbed people, but there probably would have been huge arguments if it were me and her doing that. Our love for each other was forbidden to the public eye."

_We were walking down a fairly empty beach holding hands. This was the first time we decided to do this. We both agreed we could show a little PDA only in areas that weren't close by to everyone we knew. Small waves broke against the shoreline as our feet sank into he sand with each step._

_We walked past a family having a picnic while still holding hands and throwing small smiles at each other._

"_This is a public beach you know," A middle aged woman said out loud trying to pretend she wasn't talking to us. _

_I quickly let go of her hand and shoved my hands in my pocket and stared at the sand as I continued walking. I didn't notice I was walking alone until I hear her tell the lady, "Well since this is a PUBLIC beach I'm sure you won't mind me kissing my beautiful girlfriend."_

"_You girls are a sin! God disapproves of homosexuality," she replied back with an attitude._

_I pulled her away from the lady before things got way more out of hand. She flicked the lady off before turning around and holding my again. _

_Silence grew upon us as we continued walking down the beach._

"_Baby, what's wrong?" she asked_

"_I just can't bel—"_

"_Don't worry about that bitch. She's just jealous no one loves her like how I love you," she interrupted as we stopped and she grabbed my hands. _

_I tensed up once I heard those last three words. She noticed what she had just said and said, " I know we haven't even been together that long, but I do love you, and I don't expect you to say it back."_

_I still stood there in shock. After a few moments, I calmed down and kissed her. "I love you too. More then anything."_

_She smiled and pressed her lips against mines. This time the kiss was deeper then the first one. Her sweet, soft lips were a drug to me. Every time I tasted them, I became more addicted. _

_By this time, the encounter with the lady was nothing to her, but I still couldn't get over how the one time we decide to show PDA, someone throws rude comments at us._

_x~o~x~o~x~o_

"_Spence! Ash!" we heard Aiden yell_

_We turned around and saw Aiden running towards us._

"_Hey Aiden," I said_

"_Spence, Ashley I have to tell you something." He said as he looked at both of us back and fourth_

"_Uhmm ok." I said._

"_I'm sorry to say this, but I thought you guys should now before you find out from other people. But, I heard people are beginning to think you guys are together."_

_I suddenly started to feel my stomach turning once I heard Aiden say that. _

"_What?! Who?" she yelled_

"_Some surfer guys. They said they were hitting some waves when they thought they saw you two kissing at a beach," he said_

"_Well are you sure they said it was US?" she said emphasizing on the 'us' part. _

"_They said they it looked like you guys. They specifically said 'the hot blonde and brunette that are friends with the basketball dude.' But they were out in the water so they don't know for sure," he said._

"_Shit!" I said._

_Fuck, so in a day me and my girl were 'supposedly' caught kissing and yelled at for being together. _

"_Babe, I don't think I can handle coming out right now. My parents and I aren't getting along so well right now and they'll disown me if they find out I'm gay," I said as I faced my girl with a concerned look._

"_Me too sweetie. I can't afford to have my parents hate me right now. Especially with graduation coming up."_

"_Well I'll leave you girls to talk, so I'll get out of here. Oh and I'll try get those guys off your back. I'll make something up" Aiden said as he started walking backwards._

"_Thanks! And thanks for warning us" she said_

"_Yeah no problem, and don't worry I got your back."_

_We still stood there confused on what we should do about us. Im still taken back on the fact someone actually saw us together. I mean it was the first time we ever did that!_

_I looked up and stared into the most beautiful eyes._

"_Hey, this rumour isn't going to ruin our relationship. We're just going to have to take it down a little and be more careful about what we do." She said in a soothing voice._

"_Yeah, it just sucks that I can't show my baby girl how much I love her," I said seductively._

"_Oooo well there are other ways you can show me…in private." I laughed at the last part. _

"_I'm liking the sound of that."_

"_Good, because I haven't felt your lips on mine in about 10 minutes and it's killing me already."_


	7. Jizz in my Pants

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything **

**Comments are very much appreciated. I want reviews so I know how to make the story better and the more reviews, the faster I will post another one. I'm coming towards the end already ********. And just a reminder, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

**Thanks for the helpful reviews. And I know I'm not that good of a writer, but the reason the story is going kinda fast will make sense at the very end. I'm sorry it's confusing but I'll try to do more spashley in the last couple chapters. Sorry there isn't really any in this one!**

**Oh and I think I'm going to refer the girlfriend as 'her/she/my girl' I don't want to reveal the identies yet. **

"We had many good and bad days, but right now I'm just going to remember the good days. We weren't the perfect couple, but she will always be perfect to me. I don't know what I'll be doing with all my free time now, haha. I spent so much time with her; I don't know how I lived without her. Every week we went on movie dates, walked in the park, or my favorite…mall scavenger hunts."

"_Are you ready girls?" Aiden asked once we arrived at the mall parking lot._

"_Hell yeah! Aiden and I are gonna whoop your asses!" Madison yelled as she jumped out of the car. _

_Now that Madison and Aiden are a new couple, I promised Aiden I would be nice to her since I could tell it's either hang out with him and her, or don't hang out with him at all. _

"_Whatever Madison. You guys are so going to flip once you see the list of things we made for you," I said. _

"_Ok, lets lay down some rules. So you have to follow each direction on the list correctly, or you automatically lose. The first couple to complete all 5 tasks wins. Losers have to pay for dinner of the winner's choice. Sounds good?" my girl says. _

"_Yup, oh and you have to take pictures or videos of you doing each task!" I said quickly._

"_Ok sounds good. Everyone have their camera?" Aiden asked. Everyone took out their cameras and nodded. "Well let the games begin!"_

_We switched the scavenger hunt list with Aiden and Madison and quickly ran towards the mall. We unfolded the list and read_

"_**Spencer and Ashley, You're going down!!**_

_**Ask a stranger to take a picture with you and then ask them for a kiss (You can choose where since we are so nice).**_

_**Go to Abercrombie & Fitch and start flirting with BOTH models outside the store. Don't stop until you get at least one of their numbers.**_

_**Buy a bathing suit and walk around the mall with it on.**_

_**Go to Sephora and put on as much sample make up as you can before you get kicked out. And don't take it off until you leave the store. **_

_**Jump up on the stage when it's empty and start dancing and singing 'Jizz in my pants by the Lonely Island'**_

_**Have fun!!! **_

_**3 Aiden and Madison"**_

"_Wow this is going to be fun!" I said in a sarcastic voice. _

"_Ok so I call 3 and 5!" she squealed as she jumped up and down. _

"_Haha fine. But we have to do number 1 together then," I said. "Why do you wanna do 3?"_

"_Because I can show off my totally hot body and I need a bathing suit.," she said with a cheeky grin. _

"_Oooo I'm so ready to see your totally hot body." I said with a smirk._

"_Alrighty missy, let's go before you get a 'jizz in your pants'" she sang. _

_The first thing on the list was to ask 2 strangers to take a picture with them. We decided to ask a man that wore a neon green shirt with peace sign long pants. _

"_Excuse me! Can we have a picture and a kiss?" I asked the man in my sweetest voice._

"_Are you making fun of me?" he asked in a serious voice._

"_No no no, it's ju—"_

"_haha I'm kidding! I'd love a picture…AND a kiss. I used to do those dare lists before. They're fun." he said laughing. _

"_Yeah they are. Thanks for helping," I said._

_My girl and I took the picture with the man and he gave us both a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks!" she said as we started walking away. _

"_No problem! Have fun and good luck!" he yelled back. _

"_Alright task numero uno is complete. Next on the list is for you," she said as we stopped right in front of Abercrombie. "Just don't get too flirty k babe." She said as she grabbed my hand. _

"_Don't worry hun, I'll just be imagining you the entire time," I said as I walked towards the models._

_I walked up towards the male and female model. I started the conversation, and things were going smoothly. In the corner of my eye, I could see my girl behind a fake plant with the camera recording everything I was doing. _

_I've been talking to the models for a couple minutes, and this was so much easier then I thought. _

"_So Kristen and Nick," I said in a seductive voice. "What's the best thing about being a model?"_

_Both Kristen and Nick looked at me with hungry eyes, so I could tell they wanted me._

"_Well...I'd say knowing I'm sexy and can get you to take me out sometime," Kristen said as she leaned in and pushed my hair away from my face. _

"_How about I get your number and give you a call sometime," I said as I looked at her, then Nick. Both of them immediately pulled out a pen and wrote their numbers on my arm. "We're gonna have some fun," I said as I turned around and walked away. _

_I walked to my girl, and she just stared at me with her mouth open. "You know you only needed one number right?"_

"_Yeah, but I'm just good like that so I can get both," I said with a cheeky smile. _

"_You better not call them," she said._

"_Well, I was planning on calling them tonig—" I said with a sarcastic voice._

"_haha, very funny." She interrupted. "Anyways, next task is for me. Help me find a sexy bathing suit."_

"_I'd love to."_

_She ended up getting a cute baby blue bathing suit from Pac Sun, and that was probably the most fun I've had in the dressing room. __* wink *_

"_Hey hun are you ready to show off your sexy bod to the world?" I whispered in her ear. _

"_More then ever," she said as we walked out the store and pulled off the jacket she used as a cover up._

_As we were walking past people, I could see people staring and checking out my girl. Unfortunately I couldn't walk by her side since I had to record her walking around, so I was just walking a good distance behind her and admiring her ass as she walked as if everything was normal. _

_She's been walking around for a good 5 minutes before we arrived infront of Sephora. _

"_You're last task awaits you," she said as she put on her shorts and top before I caught up to her._

"_Make me look appealing at least," I said as we walked into the store together. _

_I decided to go around the entire store and try on every single sample. We almost went around the entire store when I looked in the mirror to see what I looked like. My girl was laughing so hard when she saw my reaction to what I looked like._

"_Half my face looks like a clown and what the fuck is on my left cheek!" _

"_I wanted to lay tic-tac-toe," she said between laughs._

"_With yourself??" I replied as I still stared at what I looked like. _

"_Wait let me take a picture," she said as she pulled out her camera and snapped a shot. _

_Apparently my girl was laughing so hard an employee came up to her and asked her if she was alright. When I turned to see who she was talking to, the employee's eyes got big once she saw my face. She tried to hide her laugh, but she wasn't very successful. _

"_uhmm…do you need help with anything?" She asked holding back her laughter. _

"_Do you have anything else I can try on?" I asked in a sarcastic voice._

"_Unfortunately no, but I think you've had enough samples already." She said with a smile. _

"_Ok thanks. I'll be going now." I replied as I walked past my girl who was still laughing and pulled her out of the store. "OK you've seriously been laughing for 30 minutes straight." I said as I started to clean up all the make up on me. "You're not gonna be laughing for long, cause you have a performance now," I said with a smirk._

_She immediately stopped laughing and asked, "where's the stage?"_

_x~o~x~o~x~o_

_We stood in front of the empty stage and I started to quietly sing to her _

"_Lock eyes from across the room_

_Down my drink while the rhythms boom_

_Take your hand; skip the names_

_No need here for the silly games_

_Make our way through the smoke and crowd_

_The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud_

_Move in close as the lasers fly_

_Our bodies touch as the lasers fly."_

_She just stared at me in shock that I actually knew the song and said, "get your camera out cause this is going to be a show your not gonna wanna miss."_

_Before I could answer she jumped on the stage and grabbed a microphone and started to sing. A crowd started to form around the stage and cameras were flashing while she danced like a crazy person and sang. This time, I was the one laughing the entire time and could barely hold the camera still. _

_The next thing I know, I see her climbing down the stage and walking towards me. "Enjoy the show?"_

"_The best I've seen" I replied._

"_Bravo! Encore Encore!" Aiden said as he clapped his hands and walked towards us with Madison at his side. "I honestly didn't think any of you girls would actually do that," he said surprised. _

"_You saw that?" she asked him and Madison._

"_Girl, we wouldn't miss that for the world. And I'm pretty sure little missy here jizzed in her pants," Madison said as she lightly slapped my arm._

"_Oh yeah definitely. It's cause she's so sexy," I said. "Anyways did you finish the list?"_

"_Yeah we finished right before we saw your little show, so that means WE WIN!!" Aiden yelled._

"_Dammit. Lemme see your evidence first." My girl said._

_Madison handed over her camera and went through the pictures and videos. There were videos of Aiden asking multiple hot girls if the black lacey bra he was wearing would look good on him. Then there was a video of Madison undressing a mannequin in a window and then getting kicked out of the store. After we watched the videos we saw pictures of Aiden giving a guy a piggy back ride, Madison dressing up as a guy and hitting on another guy, and finally both Aiden and Madison taking pictures with the weirdest dressed people. _

"_I have to say my favorite is Aiden and the bras," I said_

"_I agree. You should have bought that sucker though. I don't think anyone would want to wear that after you did." My girl said._

"_Hey!" Aiden yelled. "I thought I looked sexy in that."_

_We all started laughing and walked out of the mall when Aiden said, "So girls, I hope you brought your wallets cause I'm in the mood for Italian!"_


	8. night of surprises

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything **

**Comments are very much appreciated. I want reviews so I know how to make the story better and the more reviews, the faster I will post another one. I'm coming towards the end already ********. And just a reminder, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

**Thanks for the helpful reviews. And I know I'm not that good of a writer, but the reason the story is going kinda fast will make sense at the very end. I'm sorry it's confusing but I'll try to do more spashley in the last couple chapters**

**Oh and I think I'm going to refer the girlfriend as 'her/she/my girl' I don't want to reveal the identies yet. **

"She graduated with honors on June 6, 2009 and that would probably be one of the biggest accomplishments. Honestly, I was surprised about the honors thing because we would always skip class. Anyways, she was so excited about it she could hardly stop talking about it. Even though it meant we wouldn't be able to see each other everyday like how we usually do since she'll be off at college and I'll be a senior in high school. I was so proud of her. She worked so hard and she deserves so much more then what was given to her."

"_I now present to you King High's graduating class of 2009!" the principal Mr. Johnson said as he clapped his hands and presented the now graduated seniors towards the audience._

_I watched as my girl grabbed her cap and threw it in the air with the rest of her class. I just had to laugh a little as I snapped many pictures of her. She seemed so happy and I couldn't get over the goofy faces she was throwing at me every time she looked my way. _

"_Congratulations girly!" I yelled as I was walking towards her with my arms wide-open waiting for her to run into them. She ran into my arms with all her leis around her and gave me a long-lasting hug. "I'm so proud of you," I whispered into her ear._

"_Thanks babe. So what's my graduation gift?" she replied in a joking voice._

"_Ooo well you'll just have to wait and see."_

"_Aww come on, I have to wait till after project grad?"_

"_Don't worry it'll be worth it," I said with a smirk in my face. _

"_Alrightttt. Fine. Well I better go back to my parents. I'll see you later," she said and kissed my cheek._

_x~o~x~o~x~o_

_I hid behind a tree as I saw all the now graduated seniors dancing and having a good time on the beach. I was looking for my girl cause I had the perfect night planned. After around 10 minutes of searching for her, I spotted her sitting on a table texting someone. A few seconds later I feel my phone buzzing._

_I wish you were here right now. The beach is beautiful, but its no fun since you're not here :( _

_You can stop wishing. I'm closer then you think I replied with a grin_

_huh?_

_Come towards the tree by the bathroom_

_A few minutes later I see her. "I can make all your dreams come true," I said as I snuck up behind her. _

"_Oh my gosh! What are you doing here?" she asked with shocked voice._

"_It's your graduation present," I replied and gave her a kiss_

"_You *__**kiss**__* are *__**kiss**__* the *__**kiss***__ best *__**kiss* **__gift *__**kiss* **__ever__** *kiss***__" she said. _

"_Well good because it's just the beginning."_

"_Ooh well what else do you have planned?"_

"_You'll just have to wait and find out." I said with a smirk._

_We walked to a nearby port with my hands over her eyes. The port was a good distance away from all the graduating seniors, so we didn't have to worry about getting caught._

_I took my hands away from her eyes, and she just stood at the edge of the dock in shock._

"_Are we going on this?" She asked with wide eyes. _

"_It's part 2 of your gift." I said as I watched her jumping for joy._

_When she finally calmed down a little I helped her onto the yacht, which was covered in Christmas lights. _

"_I hope you're in for the night of your life," I whispered into her ear. _

_She gave me the cutest smile and brought her soft lips towards mines. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip begging for entrance and I accepted of course. My hands wandered all over her perfect body as her hands were cupped my face. We pulled away from each other to catch our breath and sat down on the beige leather chairs and made ourselves some drinks._

_We ended up being camera whores and took many pictures of us kissing, making goofy faces, and everything. We've been out on the water for a little almost 2 hours and we were in each other's arms with her head on my shoulder. _

_Her warmth next to me made me so comfortable I could have stayed like this forever. But, I wanted to take the next step in our relationship. I mean we've been going out for almost a year already. "Wanna go to the room?" I asked with hope._

"_I thought you'd never ask," she said with a seductive smile._

_I got off the couch and led her to the room. Once we entered the room she pulled me towards her and we began to kiss passionately. She then led me towards the bed and was lying on top of me. _

"_Are you ok with this?" she asked while her head was nuzzled in my neck. I could feel her hot breath lingering on my neck _

"_I'm more then ok," I whispered into her ear. _

_She brought her lips back to mines and what happened that night is history. _

_x~o~x~o~x~o_

_I woke up the next morning and the first thing I saw were her eyes. They were absolutely beautiful. "Morning babe," I said as I kissed her forehead. _

"_Last night was amaaaaaazing," she said emphasizing on the amazing part._

" _Well I'm hoping for a repeat of last night," I said with a wishful face._

"_hmm…only if you behave," she replied while twirling my hair with her fingers. "But I have to get going home cause I was supposed to be home oh say 2 hours ago."_

"_haha ok let's get you back, but promise me I'll get more of this later," I said as I brought my lips towards hers._


	9. crash and burn

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything **

**Comments are very much appreciated. I want reviews so I know how to make the story better and the more reviews, the faster I will post another one. I'm coming towards the end already ********. And just a reminder, but the italics are flashbacks and the regular print at the very beginning is what the character is saying out loud.**

**Thanks for the helpful reviews. And I know I'm not that good of a writer, but the reason the story is going kinda fast will make sense at the very end. I'm sorry it's confusing.**

**Oh and I'm going to refer the girlfriend as 'her/she/my girl' I don't want to reveal the identies yet. **

"It was supposed to be a night to remember because it was our 1 year anniversary. I was so excited. I had everything planned out and it was going to be perfect. Little did I know our night was going to come crashing down before it even started."

"_Babe, will you please tell me where we're going. I'm getting impatient!" she said in a peppy voice._

"_Just leave the blindfold on you'll see." I said in a calm voice._

"_All right. Fine. Just hurry!" she said._

_I drove into the parking lot across from our destination and parked my Porsche. I quickly jumped out of the car and opened the door for my baby girl. She looked absolutely gorgeous in the beige strapless dress that really brought out her eyes. _

"_Oh my gosh babe! It's beautiful!" she said as saw what was across the street. She just stood there staring at the picnic Aiden and I had set up for her on the beach. "The lights and candles really did add a finishing touch," she said as we still stood in the parking lot across the street. _

_She turned to me and pulled me into a hug. "Thank you so much. I love you." She said with a smile._

"_I love you too. And you know I would do anything for you."_

"_You're such a softie," she said as she grabbed my hand and stepped off the curb. _

_We walked on the road hand in hand as we swung our arms back and fourth. She stopped walking when we reached the middle of the empty road and faced each other still holding hands._

"_Hun, there something I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you later, but this can't wait," she said as she looked down on the ground_

"_What is it babe?" I replied with a worried look._

"_I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me," she said as she brought her head up with a smile. She stared into my eyes and I felt a sudden rush of warmth fill my body. "You really changed my life and I don't know how I could ever live without you. I know you've been asking me how things are going to work while I'm in Oregon and you're here in L.A, but I changed my mind. I'm going to UCLA so I can stay here with y—"_

_She stopped talking and turned her head to the left and I did the same. I was blinded by a bright light that came closer and closer with each breath I took. _

"_Babe watch out!" my girl screamed. Before I knew it, I felt myself pushed and hit towards the edge of the sidewalk and collided with the hard asphalt. I heard tires screeching and a loud crashing noise. _

_I tried to push myself on to my feet but could hardly get up because of a piece of metal of that was deep in my left leg. I could hardly get up but I ignored the pain because my girl was nowhere in sight. I then slowly turned around to see an SUV smashed into a lamppost. But what I saw next was something I never wanted to see in my life. There she was on the ground. Motionless. Her back was facing me and I could see bloodstains on her dress. _

"_Baby! Wake up!" I said as I started crawling towards her. My left leg was useless and the pain was rushing all over, but I ignored it and the emotional pain fell upon me as I stood over her and saw her eyes closed with scratches on her face. I shook her slightly with a trembling hand. There was no response and my heart bursted. I immediately pulled out my phone and called for help. _

"_Hello 911 operator."_

"_Please help me! My girlfriend just got hit and she's not moving or anything! Pl-please help me." I cried. Tears were already running down my cheeks leaving a trail of wet mascara. _

"_Ok we are sending help now. Please stay calm."_

_I hung up the phone and pulled my girl towards me and cradled her in my arms. We sat in the middle of the empty road and I pushed her hair away from her face. I saw blood stained on her fore head. It was hard to take in, but just seeing her in so much pain made my broken heart break even more. _

"_b-b-babe," she whimpered as she shifted in my arms._

"_Sweetie, help is on their way. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."_

"_I lo-love you." She stuttered. _

"_I love you too. You're my everything." I cried as the tears I cried landed on her blood stained dress. _

_Within minutes I heard sirens and flashing lights coming towards us. The ambulance came to a complete stop next to us and paramedics immediately jumped out of vehicle and rushed to aid my girl and the driver of the SUV. _

"_Ma'am we will take it from here," a man said as he looked at me and my girl in my arms. _

_The man carried my girl onto the stretcher and carried her into the vehicle and the vehicle began to drive away from me._

_I sat up on the stretcher and yelled at the man, "I need to be on that ambulance! My girlfriend is on there I want to be with her!" I yelled._

"_Ma'am, she needs to be taken to the hospital immediately. She's in critical condition." The man said._

"_Can you please take me to that same hospital too…now." I replied immediately. _

"_We'll get there as soon as possible," he said with a calm voice. _

_Before I was carried into the ambulance, I saw a gust of wind blow out all the candles that I had set up for our romantic anniversary dinner. And even though I didn't want to believe it, that's when I realized the light of my life could possibly be extinguished too. _


	10. broken

**I dont own anything.******

**Regular print is the present and italics are flashbacks. Sorry if it's a little confusing. Let me know if it is and I'll clear things up. Reviews and appreciated. I think I'll post the last chapter tomorrow or sometime before I leave for vacation.**

"Just looking at the large scar running up the side of my left leg reminds me of that day. I would do anything to take at least half of the pain away from my girl who was suffering from major injuries. sigh." I took a deep breath in as I was thinking of what to say next. My eyes started to water just thinking about it. "Everything was going well when she came out of surgery. But everyone takes different paths in their life, and I still don't quite understand why her path was different from mines. We were meant to be together forever."

_It's been a couple hours since i got here and I was lying in my hospital bed crying when the doctor came in to check up on me.___

_"Can I please se--"___

_"I'm sorry but you can't. Shes still in surgery." The doctor interrupted___

_"I'm gonna keep asking until you let me see her." I said as I watched him come towards the bed___

_"I really am sorry, but you can't right now. Once you can, I will have someone let you know right away." he said as he looked through my medical documents. "Anyways, your leg will be fine, but you will have some trouble walking for a while. I'll also give you a persricption for your leg to get rid of the pain. A large piece of the SUV that hit you was stabbed into your leg and luckily we came just in time so there wasn't much blood loss. Is there anything else bothering you?"___

_"No sir," I replied.___

_"Ok, well I'll let you rest and you should be able to leave tomorrow." he said as he started walking towards the door.___

_"Oh and dont forget to tell me abo--,"___

_"Try to get some rest, and I promise to have someone let you know," he said as he turned to look at me.___

_"Wow why does he always interrupt me?" I thought to myself. Well right now I can only hope and pray that my girl will be alright. I layed on my right side so the scar on my leg was facing up. I dimmed the lights and slowly fell asleep with tears running down my check.___

_x~o~x~o~x~o___

_In the surgery room. No one's POV___

_"Doc she's stable," a nurse said.___

_"Very well. I'll go let the parents know. Take her to the recovery room." The doctor said. He exited the room and walked towards the waiting room where the patient's parent were.___

_"Doctor, how is my daughter?" a lady rushed towards the familiar doctor.___

_"Ma'am your daughter is stable. She hit her head pretty bad and suffered from internal bleeding to the brain. Luckily, we got to her just in time. She also suffered from a few broken ribs. Everything should be ok though. She just needs some rest. Is your husband here? I'm sure he would like to know his daughter is alright."___

_"No he isn't here. He's out of the country with work. But can I see her now?" she asked immediately.___

_"Yes you may. She is in the recovery room."___

_"Thank you so much," she said as she threw herself on the doctor and started to cry in his shoulder.___

_"Ma'am," the doctor said as she pulled away from her. "I need to inform your daughter's friends that they are allowed to visit her."___

_"I will let them know." she said as she called Aiden over who had his head in his hands.___

_Aiden and the crying mother walked towards the recovery room as the doctor walked to a different room.___

_"Hey honey," the mother said to her daughter who had her eyes closed and looked so peaceful. She began to stir when her mom and Aiden sat on the side of the bed and her eyes slowly opened.___

_"Hey there," Aiden said as he moved her hair that was in her face.___

_The girl tried to sit up, but Aiden and her mother wouldn't let her.___

_"Just relax honey. Theres no need for you to sit up. I'm so happy you're alright," her mom said as she tried to make her daughter a little more comfortable.___

_"Mom?" the girl asked with a weak voice. "Can I talk to Aiden alone for a minute?"___

_"Sure honey. I'll be back later. I need to talk to the doctor." her mother said as she stood up and kissed her daughter's cheek before she left.___

_Her mom left and Aiden and the girl sat in silence.___

_"Aiden. Is she alright?" she asked him with a worried voice.__  
__" You do know you were the one in critical condition right," he said with a small laugh. "But yes, she is fine. I'm sure she is more worried about you then she is about herself. Do you want me to go get her for you?" he asked.___

_"Will you." she said with a small smile. "But, will you write something down for me?"___

_"Of course. Anything for my best friend," he said as he stood up to look for paper and a pen.___

_"Don't ask why I'm doing this, but I just have to. It's just that I thought I was gonna die and there was so much left to say. I just want it to be written down so I can show it to her later."___

_"It's ok. I understand." Aiden said.___

_She began to tell Aiden her thoughts, and Aiden's hand was shaking as he wrote down word for word what his friend was telling him.___

_"Is that everything?" Aiden asked with tears beginning to form in his eyes.___

_"Yes. Can you get my girlfriend now?" she asked as the trail of tears started to dry on her cheeks. "And don't tell her about the letter. It's between you and me."___

_"Ok." he said as he stood up. "I'll go get her, and I'm so glad you're ok though." he said as he gave her a hug.___

_Once Aiden left, her eyes began to feel heavy and fell asleep with the heart moniter beeping at a steady pace.___

_x~o~x~o~x~o___

_ Back to Spencer or Ashley's POV___

_Aiden came into my room and told me my girl is awake and wanted to see me. I immediately got out of bed, grabbed my crutches, and headed for my girl's room. I entered the doorway and she was sleeping. I sat on her bed and began to stroke her hair.___

_"Hey babe," she said with a weak voice.___

_"Hey to you too. how are you feeling?" I asked as we stared into each other's eyes.___

_"Better. My head and chest hurts like hell though." she said as she raised her hand to her head and started to rub it.___

_"Is it supposed to hurt? Is that normal?" I asked quickly.___

_"I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure it's normal though." she replied. "But I feel so much better now that you're here." she said as she pecked my lips.__  
__She scooted to the side of the bed and motioned me to lie down next to her. I did what I was told and pulled the thin sheets over her and I.___

_"So how's your leg?" she asked as she turned to face me.___

_"The scar is going to be huge, but I'm fine," I said with a smile.___

_She traced her fingers over where the stiches were and tingles started to take over my whole body. I havent felt her touch in what seems like forever. I leaned in for a kiss and it immediately became needy and passionate. Her lips were addicting, and I knew I could kiss her forever. I pulled her in closer and my hands started to roam her backside.___

_"I love you," I whispered to her.___

_"I will always love you," she whispered back.___

_We locked lips once again and fell asleep in each others arms.___

_We've been asleep for a couple of hours now and I woke up because I needed a pain killer for my leg. I carefully sat up without waking up my girl and swung my legs over to the side of the bed.___

_"I'll be right back babe. I love you," I said quietly as I kissed her fore head. I grabbed my crutches and planted my feet on the floor and slowly made my way back to my room.___

_"Hello Mr. Painkillers. Do me a favor and kill the pain," I said to the bottle of pills as I held it up and shook the bottle. 2 pills and a gulp of water later I was on my way back to my girl's room.___

_"Excuse me! Watch out! Get a doctor in there now!" a few nurses yelled before they ran past me and turned into my girl's room.___

_My eyes grew big and i made my way to her room as fast as I could. Unfortunatly I couldnt get there as fast as I wanted to due to my stupid leg. When I finally got to the door of her room, there were doctors and nurses surrounding her bed.___

_"We're losing her!" one of the doctors yelled.___

_I tried to get to her side, but couldnt because the doctors and nurses were telling me I had to leave.___

_"I have to be with her! Is she ok?" I yelled as a few nurses were pulling me away from my girl.___

_"She has to leave now!" one of the doctors ordered.___

_Before I knew it, I was being forced back to my room without know what was going on in my girl's room and if she would be alright._


	11. here without you

**I dont own anything. Song is here without you by 3 doors down.**

I stared into the rows of people wearing balck infront of me who were wiping tears away with their tissues. My vision got blurry and I felt my tears streaming down my cheeks. I scanned the people who were sitting and immediately caught eyes with her father. He cancelled the rest of his business trip immediately when he found out his daughter was in the hospital. Unfortunately, by the time he made it back home, he was too late.

"Sh- she breathed her la- la- last breath on June 29, 2009." I said between sniffles and cries. "It was on our one year anniversary of being together." I looked up from the podium I was standing on and looked to see at everyone's reactions. There was none. "She got hit by a drunk driver. It was supposed to be me in her position, but she pushed me away and saved my life. The doctors said she was going to be ALRIGHT and they said she was ALRIGHT after the surgery, but it wasn't ALRIGHT." I said emphasizing on the alright with anger. I have every right to be angry. The doctors said she was going to live and the surgery was sucessful, but it wasn't. I calmed myself down and took deep breaths in.

"She crashed just 4 hours after the surgery. The doctors tried to revive her, but they weren't sucessful," I said with my head hanging down. I paused for a moment to regain my thoughts. "When we first got together, I promised her we would come out together to everyone we love before we died. bu-but I couldn't keep that promise. So I stand here before you telling you how much we love each other. She was willing to go to UCLA instead of going away so we can be together. She was always the more dominant one in the relationship and always took charge and made sure we can always find ways to be with each other," I said as a small smile grew with that thought. "And that's what I loved about her. She always called me whipped, but I just told her it was what love did to me. I was willing to do anything and everything for her because I love her. I always have and always will." I said as I saw my tears drop on the podium.

"If there's one thing I learned while we were together, it was to cherish every moment you have with the person you love. Live like there's no tomorrow because tomorrow just might not come." I turned to face her picture that was on her casket," I really wish I could have taken the pain away from you and spent the rest of my life with you babe. But, you will always remain in my heart where ever life takes me. I love you Spencer Marie Carlin, and may you rest in peace."

I turned away from the podium and took my seat next to Aiden. He placed his hand on my knee and looked straight into my eyes with his teary eyes. He then stood up and took his place on the podium.

"Spencer and Ashley are my best friends and I would always protect them. I wish there was more I could have done for you Spencer." He pulled out a paper from his pocket, cleared his throat and said, "Ashley, before you went to Spencer's room, she asked me to write down her last thoughts when she thought she was going to die. "

He fiddled with the paper and began to read the letter.

My dearest Ashley,  
Saying goodbye is never easy. Ecspecially if it is to the person you love. If you are reading this now, then that means our paths have taken a different course. I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for letting Aiden bring me to the concert, setting up a beautiful anniversary dinner, and most of all, letting me love you. I don't know how I lived without you before we were together. I can honestly say you saved me and showed me how to live life to the fullest and what love is.  
I'm sorry I couldn't stick around longer but I can promise you I will be watching over you. You were my gaurdian angel, and now it is my turn to be yours. I always have and always will love you.

Love,  
Spencer

Aiden folded the paper and walked back to where he was sitting. He handed the paper to me and all I could do was cry as I held it by my heart.

x~o~x~o~x~o

I sat in my chair as Spencer's family and friends went to her casket and placed a flower on her tombstone.

"Ashley," my mom called to me as she was walking towards me and took a seat.

"Mom, if you're gonna yell please don't. This isn't a good time." I said as I looked at the ground.

The next thing I knew I felt her wrap her arms around me. "Ash, hun, it's ok. your father and I still love you no matter what. But, you could have told us."

"I thought you would be mad. I was scared." I said as tears started to form again.

"Honey, we don't care who you love. You're our daughter and we are supposed to love you no matter what." she said as her hand rested on my fore arm. "And we always assumed you two were together. You girls were too touchy for best friends," she said with a chuckle.

"Thanks mom," I said as I brought her to a hug.

"For what?" she said.

"For understanding."

x~o~x~o~x~o

My head was drooping down when an older version of Spencer was walking away from my girl's casket.

"Hi Mrs. Carlin," I said as she was walking down the aisle between the chairs. She nodded at my presence and continued walking. "I'm sorry about Spencer," I said. She stopped walking and turned back to me.

"Ashley," she said. "A parent is never supposed to bury their child."

"I'm really sorry. I wish I could have done something to prevent it." I said scared that she was going to start yelling.

"But...God has everyone's lives set up. It was just God's plan for my little girl." she said as she wiped her tears away. "Ashley, you made my daughter happy the last year she was alive. I've never seen her smiling for no reason at home or singing love songs in the shower," she said wtih a laugh. "I'm just glad she had you in her life."

"Thank you Mrs. Carlin." I said. With that Mrs. Carlin walked away.

"That wasnt to bad," I said to myself.

I was still sitting in the same chair I sat in after I talked about Spencer. Everyone was beginning to leave and I didn't even bother to move.

"Hey Ash," I looked up to see Aiden standing in front of me.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry about Spencer." he said with a sympathetic voice.

"Yeah me too."

"Do you need a ride home?"

"No thanks. I'm going to stay here for a little while."

"Ok. I'll see you later then."

x~o~x~o~x~o

It was starting to get dark and everyone left. I sat alone in the chair as the wind brushed against my hair. My eyeliner and mascara was clearly washed away with my tears. I sat up from the chair and walked towards Spencer's burial.

"Hey Spencer." I said as I kneeled down so my eyes were level with the tombstone.

"So I guess we didn't have to hide our relationship from the 'rents," I said with a laugh. I sighed and took a deep breath in. "Spence I miss you already. How do you expect me to live without you? No one could ever make me as happy as you did. I love you Spencer," I said crying. "I always have and always will."

I got off my knees and layed down and curled up on the grass. "I can lie here forever as long as you're here next to me."

I stared at her name engraved in the stone and ran my fingers across it. "I'll see you soon my love," I said as I drifted off to sleep.

x~o~x~o~x~o

6 months later

I stepped out of my car and grabbed flowers and my guitar. I slowly walked up the grassy hill to where my girl lay in a eternal sleep. I wrapped my arms around myself for some comfort.

"Hey Spencer." I said as I set the flowers by her grave.

"I miss you so much. It's supposed to be our year and a half anniversary today," I said as wiped my tears away. "I was going to sing for you on our year anniversary, bu-but that didn't happen. So I wrote a song and am going to sing it for you." I picked up my guitar and started strumming.

"_A hundred days have made me older__  
__Since the last time that I saw your pretty face__  
__A thousand lies have made me colder__  
__And I don't think I can look at this the same__  
__But all the miles that separate__  
__Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face___

_I'm here without you baby__  
__But you're still on my lonely mind__  
__I think about you baby__  
__And I dream about you all the time__  
__I'm here without you baby__  
__But you're still with me in my dreams__  
__And tonight it's only you and me___

_The miles just keep rollin'__  
__As the people leave their way to say hello__  
__I've heard this life is overrated__  
__But I hope that it gets better as we go___

_I'm here without you baby__  
__But you're still on my lonely mind__  
__I think about you baby__  
__And I dream about you all the time__  
__I'm here without you baby__  
__But you're still with me in my dreams__  
__And tonight girl its only you and me___

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go__  
__It gets hard but it wont take away my love__  
__And when the last one falls__  
__When it's all said and done__  
__It gets hard but it wont take away my love___

_I'm here without you baby__  
__But you're still on my lonely mind__  
__I think about you baby__  
__And I dream about you all the time__  
__I'm here without you baby__  
__But you're still with me in my dreams__  
__And tonight girl its only you and me_"

"I love you so much Spencer Carlin. I always have and always will. I'd do anything to be with you right now."

It was growing dark so I walked back to the car. My vision was blurry from my tears, but I still drove on the highway. I knew it was dangerous, but I didn't care. Memories came rushing to my head as I sped past my house and didn't even bother to slow down and turn around.

"I'm so sorry Spencer. Bu't I can't live like this any longer. I love you." I closed my eyes as I pressed on the gas pedal harder.

x~o~x~o~x~o

I opened my eyes and I was surrounded by white. I looked down to the floor beneath me and saw my car crashed to a light post and my demolished car that was surrounded by ambulances and police cars from a bird's eye view.

"Why'd you do that Ash?" A familiar voice said from behind me.

I turned around and saw her. My legs began to tremble because I was in the preseance of an angel. "I'm so sorry. I had to. I missed you so much.I love you so much." I said as I was sobbing.

"Ash, Ash." she said as she brought me to a hug. "I'm sorry too. But I'm here with you right now."

We pulled apart and I looked into her ocean blue eyes. "I love you Ashley. I always have and always will."

She pressed her lips against mines, and pulled me closer then we already were.

"Please don't ever leave me again," I whispered in her ear.

"I promise," she said as I was pulled back into her for another kiss which was the start of our new beginning.

**  
****Thank you for all the readers and thank you thank you for those who took time to make comments.******

**I didn't want to have to end it this way, but I kinda had it planned that way from the very beginning. Just to clear things up, the very first paragraph in each chapter was what Ashley was saying to the people at the funeral. Do you get it? The italics were just flashbacks. I didn't mention who was who just to get you curious and want to read more :D**


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